Please comment on this story called ''A Carnival Parade''

Submitted by guest (not verified) on 15 May 2008 - 7:36pm

For most Carnival parades ears are keen to sounds, lifeless bodies are resurrected by simple Caribbean rhythm and the oddly yet magnificent styles of fashion appeals to the sense of sight. The word Carnival, with no doubt, provides vivid descriptions of the word 'excitement.
It was only a typical Saturday afternoon where teens gather in groups to seek adventure. On like your average fourteen year old, Danielle did not take part in childish merriment but rather took an interest in sorting out activities for Carnival Parades. She spent months organizing and planning schedules, creating designs for costumes and constructing virtual diagrams of floats. She practiced tirelessly, the opening speech she received from Mr. Webby, coordinator of the parade and all seemed to be in set position for the major event of Hampton Ville.
She closed her eyes and imagined the sight, the smell and the applause directed to her for her hard work. Suddenly her eyes burst open to broad day light. ''Oh no, I'm late for the event''! She shouted. Danielle had overslept and was sure that she missed the opening of the Parade. Having no time to bathe she hurriedly dressed herself in a dazzling blue and white gown. She topped off the dress with diamond earrings that her grandmother had given to her for the big speech. Danielle was sure that she was an hour late and became frustrated. ''Why did I take that role'' She said angrily as she stumbled to the entrance of the gate. Up ahead she spotted a man dressed in a blue suit. He had short blond hair and a fifty's hat that brought the suit to its full potential. ''Mr. Webby''She whispered. As the figure came closer it spoke out in a deep voice ''you my dear are an hour....'' but before he could finish the sentence Danielle replied with tears. ''I'm so sorry sir, please forgive me'' but Mr. Webby answered gracefully wiping the tears from her baggy eyes. ''Your very early''! He said. Danielle looked at him with deep eyes, surprised and very happy.
At the commencing of the event Danielle gave a remarkable speech and what she had imagined had come to pass. Music and laughter filled the air and both the young and the old danced the evening away. It was a spectacular even where the carnival provided a vivid description of the word ''excitement''.


toney (not verified) 16 May 2008 - 5:23pm

Hi Keshawna:
I must really commend you on that's outstanding piece of writing you've presented here. Keep up the good work.

Kathy-ann Daniel 21 June 2008 - 11:28am

Hey Keshawna, I didn't want to comment before because I was hoping that more study buddies would have commented on your short story.

I think that it was a very good story. It was vivid, you used your language skills quite well to paint a picture of the scenes. Your storyline was crisp and clear so that it was easy to follow. Your grammar and punctuation were very good too. I hope you pass your English A exam with flying colours.

Kathy-ann Daniel 10 June 2009 - 12:10am

I think you are talking about the best CXC short story that is chosen every year. If you look in the CXC English exam guide here, you will find links to all the stories.

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