Persuasive essay - High rate of traffic accidents in the country

Submitted by mary on 23 November 2012 - 8:34pm

Question: Write an article to the local newspaper expressing your concern about the high rate of traffic accidents in your country. Suggest three measures which would help to reduce this high rate of accidents.

Here is my essay answer.

The Editor,

I am very concerned over the high rate of traffic accidents in the country. Drivers seem to lose all sens of reasonableness and conscience when they get behind the wheel of a car. In my experience it is normal for drivers to go past the speed limit set out for the roads. They ignore traffic lights as though they are not even there and treat pedestrians worse than animals in the streets.

Drivers disregard for the traffic laws in the country and the lives of their fellow citizens has caused much carnage on our roads. Deaths and physical disability caused by traffic accidents is sky high in the country and keeps increasing every year.

If course, what I have described here doesn’t even begin to address the traffic accidents caused by drunk driving and driving under the influence of drugs. When you add that to the normal carnage caused by reckless driving, you could say that cars are a serious weapon of death in the hands of many drivers.

I suggest that there are several measures that can be taken by the traffic authorities and the motor vehicle division to curb the traffic violence on our roads. One measure that they can take to curb the rate of traffic accidents is to introduce very heavy fines for drivers who are caught breaking the speed limit. A driver who accumulates 3 or 4 sets of heavy fines should have his license suspended for 6 months or a year. He should not be allowed to drive for that time. If he is caught driving, his license should be cancelled permanently.

I believe that the treat of heavy fines and the inconvenience of having a suspended license will be enough to make most drivers think twice. For the more hardened culprits, having their license suspended for six months or a year and having to take public transport should force them to reconsider their approach to driving. And for those who still continue, they lose the priveledge of driving in our country.

A second thing that they can do to stop traffic accidents is to make sure that the traffic lights actually work. In some areas of our country, the traffic lights do not work well and when drivers get into the habit of ignoring traffic lights that are not working, they keep the same habit of ignoring the traffic lights even when they are working. So the traffic division should see about maintaining the traffic lights.

A third thing that they can do is to have the traffic police monitoring the traffic at peak hours. To ensure that drivers are following the traffic laws. If drivers know that the traffic police will be there watching them at peak hours, they would be less likely to drive crazily and cause accidents.

I believe that these three things can help considerably to reduce the traffic accidents in our country and to reduce the death toll from traffic accidents.. They also promote lawful behaviour in our country’s drivers.

504 words


june joseph 25 November 2012 - 10:13am

Hi Mary

This essay is well written, however, I must tell you that it is too long. You've gone over the word limit and this is absolutely not good. There are a few spelling errors in the paragraphs and I believe some sentences could be made smaller (like combine 2 sentences into 1).

Anyway the overall ideas were great!

Let's wait and hear what Kathy has to say about this essay.

Best wishes

Kathy-ann Daniel 26 November 2012 - 11:38am

Hi Mary,

This essay is well written, congratulations. I must say that I am surprised at how well written it is, did you have any help?

It is okay if you did, however, the idea here is for you to develop your own writing skills. When you practice and your mistakes are seen, they can be corrected and you can improve, not so if it is someone else's work.

That being said, it is a good essay with good points. It is okay if it goes over 450 words, CXC has said that they are only strict with the word limit for the summary.

So I would give this a grade 2.

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