Week 4 Short Story

 

The Decision that saved my life

Trotting thru the woods, the Intruder felt the branches lash His face and tear at His coat, He knew it wouldn’t tear. He only bought the best for a job.  With the wind in His eyes He forged forward making sure to leave as little trace of Himself as possible, after all it wouldn’t do to give the dogs ;the old Czar would surly send out, a scent to follow.

“It was a dark and stormy night, “So to speak” He thought, with a grim smile, He had been doing this for a long time. Thinking about a vacation on a job was the best way to walk right into a permanent vacation, but it also spoke of his long standing need for some down time. Where to go, who to see…. the soft ground held His footprints, He treaded carefully, making sure not to upset any rocks or scuff any moss, second nature. The oncoming storm will wash away any smaller traces He had been there.

Stop that!” He muttered with a sharp shake of His head, light on His feet He barely heard the leaves rustle as He slowed to a walk, a great trait for a thief to have.  He made it to the pickup point with no trouble. The Lorry will be coming by soon and the storm finally breaking over his head sent a cold sprinkle of liquid gold down along the forests floor from where He had just emerged. He turn toward the road and saw it coming in the distance, “right on time” He muttered, turning up His collar against the gusts of winds returning as the storm started the throwing its weight around.

                Making it out of the country wasn’t a no-brainer after that, the hard part was done. In and out without a trace, His specialty. The piece will be sold in a few months, once the heat and eyes of the world turned to the newest missing trinket. Slipping it out of the country and into the black market will take some finagling, but he knew a guy, who knew a guy. For now, all He could see was a spot on the beach somewhere tropical and anonymous. A cold beer, beaches and bikinis. Maybe he would keep the necklace, fall in love with a Caribbean beauty, and gift it to her on their wedding day.

Walking into the airport, two days train ride from where His mission began He spied a news report on a missing Ruby necklace stolen from a Russian prince. “The reward is almost worth the necklace itself He thought,” that’s when you know it’s time to call it quits. 

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Kathy-ann Daniel's picture
Kathy-ann Daniel
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Joined: 24 Aug 2007
T gittz short story question

Hello tgittz,
June and davidc are both 100 percent correct. I think you misunderstood the question so you are writing from the wrong point of view.

The story is supposed to be about you and you are supposed to be writing about your experience.

Unfortunately, mistakes like these are what cause people to fail the CXC CSEC English A exam. You could not get any marks for this essay since you did not answer the question that was asked.

I would give you a grade 4 for this answer. If you wish to rewrite the short story and submit again, I would be happy to review it again for you.

Best,

Kathy

Kathy-ann Daniel-Gittens

Davidc's picture
Davidc
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Joined: 10 Oct 2007
short story

Hi tgittz, I kinda see what June talking about. This story should be talking about my life and what happened to save my life.....and you keep talking about 'he this' and 'he that'. You don't say 'my' anywhere in this story so it is not about 'my life'.

I don't think you would get a good mark for this essay.

Reach for the stars

june joseph's picture
june joseph
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Joined: 2 Nov 2012
tgittz's short story.

Sorry tgittz, but I do think the essay had to be about a decision that changed YOUR life?! So ...

... Let's wait for Kathy's review.

CJJ

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