My summary essay Week 3- The rewrite

 

[The documented accounts of Workers' Union has not been prejudiced as one would anticipate. In fact, the operation has implemented, the exact standards set by the initiators, in the core of its associates. The seventies was an exhilarating era when it gave birth to The Workers' Union and the aggressiveness which arose among all labor force, bank employees inclusive, also gave air to exchange of views, which led the introduction of political parties to cause quite a commotion throughout the nation. Presently, the Workers' Union has been identified as the ambassador for over sixty establishments equally in the fiscal and investigating division, evolved as tradition.]

 

All documented account records of Workers' Union have been straight forward and true. The firms have maintained, even today, all beliefs that were established by its founders.

The seventies brought about much change and it was in that era that the Workers Union was introduced. It was welcomed amidst the different revolutions which were taking place at the time.

Presently, the organization serve a large number of companies in all areas of employment. They are the acknowledged agent for people in all walks of life in the system.

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june joseph's picture
june joseph
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my summary essay week 3 - the rewrite.

Hi again Kathy,

Just letting you know that I have rewritten the summary essay of week three. Hope you find time to review it. Sorry I took so much time.

Looking forward to hearing your comments!

CJJ

Kathy-ann Daniel's picture
Kathy-ann Daniel
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Joined: 24 Aug 2007
review June's summary

Hi June!

here is my review of your summary answer.

I would say that this summary may need a bit of revising. I am not sure that the word 'prejudice' in the first sentence is the best word to use there. I am sorry, do not understand the second sentence at all. What do the words 'operation' and 'initiators' refer to?

The third sentence was very long and I only understood part of it. I understood up to inclusive and then, I was lost.

My recommendation would be to rewrite this summary using simpler language and shorter sentences.

I will review it again once you rewrite.

Best,

Kathy

Kathy-ann Daniel-Gittens

june joseph's picture
june joseph
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Kathy's review on my summary.

Hi Kathy,

I will try to rewrite the summary. I must confess, I haven't been on this site as often as I would like this past week. My daughter's exams began (in school) and I have also been busy. Maybe I answered the question too hastily. Anyway I am also looking forward to the last week with you all. I will definitely try to do more essays this last week.

Thanks!

CJJ

mary's picture
mary
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Joined: 26 Aug 2007
I can tell

I can tell that you real serious abut your work boy! Good summary.

Mary

june joseph's picture
june joseph
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Joined: 2 Nov 2012
Just saying thanks!

Thank you Mary. You can try to you know. Post an essay sometime for me to see, please? (smile)

CJJ

mary's picture
mary
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try

imma try and see what i could do.....no promises ;O.....

Mary

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